


New Beginnings

by EveasaurousRex



Series: Trials and Tribulations [3]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 16:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveasaurousRex/pseuds/EveasaurousRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that one war is over, and another starting, Loki must figure out how to repair his relationship with Tony, and gain the help of the Avengers. Meanwhile, Arawn struggles with his new power, while trying to keep a dark secret from his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning of the End

Loki held out his arms, catching Arawn as he pitched forward. His heart jumped to his throat as he braced himself, curling his son close to his chest. Movement caught his eye, and he growled warningly, in unison with Morrigan. Then he blinked, letting his lips fall back over his bloody teeth when the instinct ebbed back. He realized why a moment later.

Stark and Thor had both taken steps towards them, and he didn't question the instinct to treat them as enemies. 

"Don't come any closer." He swallowed hard. "Not yet." 

"Brother, I-" 

"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!" He roared, eyes sparking. 

"But...I thought you lied, to protect Arawn and Morrigan..." Thor said softly, voice and expression rife with confusion. 

Loki barked a laugh, uncaring that it made all of them flinch with the broken edges of himself that it revealed. "And what, pray tell, do you think I lied about?" 

Thor froze, and no one dared to breathe in the moment he hesitated. "...everything." 

Loki laughed right in his face. "You poor, naive _fool_. Everything I did was to protect those I care about." His smile was nothing but teeth when Thor looked hurt and confused. "I only care about those that care for me back, _brother_." 

"I do care! Why would you-" 

"You do not care for _me!_ " Loki interrupted, his arms tightening around the unconscious figure in his arms. "You care for an idea, a _fantasy_ that you have made up in your head. You are enraptured with the idea of being a big brother, to protect me and shelter me-" 

"But, it is," was all Thor got out before a dagger came out of nowhere to bury in his upper arm. It melted into emerald light, but the blood was real. So was the shock. He knew his brother was serious when he used his daggers. 

"NO IT'S NOT!" Loki roared, his hand outstretched and his eyes burning copper. "I do _not_ need your protection! I do not need your stupidity, or your immature way of dealing with things. I do not need to be your shadow any longer, brother." 

"But you're not...I mean..." Thor actually floundered, not knowing what to say, but Loki was suddenly tired. 

Tired enough that he let his shoulders sag a bit, curling around his son. Morrigan never faced away from the others, but she came and wrapped around them from behind. She was always hot, a side effect of being born on an ice world. "I don't want to discuss this anymore, Thor. If you would take me to jail now..." 

_"I'm not quite done with you yet little god,"_ Thanos's calm voice in his head sent shivers down his spine, before it bowed with the sudden pain radiating through his body. The only thing that kept him on his knees and not face first into the floor was Arawn in his arms. 

Then his vision swirled, and he grabbed his head as he doubled over from the sudden pounding pain in his mind. "No, no no no...NO!" 

_"Yes little god,"_ Thanos hissed in his mind, and Loki screamed as the Titans power was shoved through him, making his body burn from the inside out, and ripping all of his carefully healed scars apart. _"You think you and your children can get the better of me? You DARE?!"_

"Yes I fucking dare!" he screamed through the pain, and suddenly started laughing again even as blood poured from his mouth and down his chin. He grinned madly, absently thinking he'd have to thank one Bruce Banner for forcing the hooks from his mind. "You fucked with me, you tortured my children, and I warned you Thanos. Remember that." 

He funneled all his rage, hate, and pain into a mental spear, and sent it hurtling through the connection. He fell onto his side, still laughing as Thanos screamed in a rage, and his laughter only grew when Thanos redoubled his efforts. He tried to break through his mental barriers with as much force as he could, but Loki was having none of it. It would take more than a Titan to get through them. 

Suddenly it was all gone, and his laughter tapered off into hiccupping giggles, tears coursing freely down his cheeks as his hands tightened on...he looked, and saw that Stark had the metal arms around him and Arawn, the arc reactor pressed against his back. A strange resonance began to pulse through him, and it spoke of his exhaustion and blood loss that it took him a moment to realize that he was feeling Stark's heartbeat through the energy of the reactor. It took him another long moment to make the connection that it was Stark that had cut off the connection. 

He smiled up at the man, his first true one in what felt like lifetimes, not really noticing how the blue eyes went wide in surprise and recognition. "Protect...them..." he whispered, raising a hand covered in blood to cup the man's cheek. 

Then he let himself fall into welcome unconsciousness. 

[X][X][X][X][X]

Tony growled when Thor took a few steps forward, arms tightening around the unconscious man in his arms. He didn't even feel the least bit guilty when Thor gave him a horrified look. 

"You think I would harm my own family?" he demanded, and Tony shot him a look that screamed 'yes'. "You have no knowledge of what he did, Iron Man." 

"And you do?" he snapped back, eyes narrow and sharp like a blade. "He's your brother Goldilocks, but you took everything he did at face value, without looking deeper. You blindly trusted that Arawn was safe in Asgard, when you should have known better." 

"How was I supposed to know?" Thor shot back, hand tensing around the hilt of Mjolnir. "Loki has always lied and-" 

"That is where you're wrong," Tony said with a wide, cold smile. "Rarely does Loki lie outright. He twists it. 95% of what comes out of his mouth is technically the truth." 

"And how would you know?" Rogers asked sharply, gaze suspicious as he stood there and glared, arms crossed over his chest. 

Tony's smile only widened, and it was cold, knowing, and sharp. Showing them a glimpse of the man that he hid under the armor, the smiles, the girls, the money. The ruthless man that was only on the side of good because it just so happened to fall in line with his personal goals. 

"It takes one to know one," he said sweetly, then looked at the wolf, dismissing them all. "Darling, can you get Arawn? They should at least be on a bed." 

_"Of course Tony,"_ she replied, and gently nosed Arawn until she could get her lower jaw under his torso, growling when Thor took another step closer, looking as though he wanted to help. 

"I am not your enemy!" He boomed in frustration, but both man and wolf ignored him as she followed him down a long hallway. Tony was glad of his armor as he held Loki, kicking the door open and hoping that it hadn't been destroyed. 

There were a few broken windows, but nothing on the bed, so he laid the god down, and Morrigan sat Arawn next to him. It was only moments later that Arawn curled up along Loki's side, and the man wrapped a possessive arm around his son. 

His smile fell, especially when he heard the others start coming down the hallway. He went to scrub a hand over his face, stopping the motion when he remembered he still had his gauntlet on. "Morrigan, I'm an idiot." 

_"You couldn't have known Tony. I believe he was planning on telling you his plans, until Thanos forced his way into fathers mind. Then, he couldn't risk it without risking our lives."_

"Yea, I get that now," he muttered, straightening his back as the door opened. He added the name Thanos to his mind, now knowing this was the person who put all of this in motion. _"Doesn't make it any easier to deal with."_ He thought at her, and didn't expect how she jerked, staring at him. 

_"How is this possible? How did I hear you?"_ she asked softly, staring back at him. 

"You heard me?" He blinked. "Wait, I thought people could speak to you mind to mind." 

She shook her massive head, seeming to get over the shock. _"No, only Arawn and father can. Most interesting..."_

He snorted, finally turning to face the group of people that were standing in the doorway, staring at the two of them with a mix of anger, disbelief, and pure frustration. 

"Sup guys? Oh, welcome to my home, I guess," he said nonchalantly, waving a hand around him. "Now let's take this conversation outside." 

"We can't leave him alone Tony," Steve said, glaring. "He is a criminal, and Fury is on his way to pick him up." 

That sent an unpleasant chill right down his spine, bringing a grin to his face that was dark and defiant. He relished the way Natasha and Clint's posture changed slightly, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "No can do Capsicle. Didn't Pikachu over there explain what happened?" 

Everyone looked at Thor, who glowered at Tony. "I didn't feel it was my place." 

Tony snorted, absently scratching the back of Morrigan's neck when she put his head under his palm. "Alrighty then, story time boy and girls. Gather 'round. 

"You all know Loki." His smile slashed across his face. "The red headed frog biter there next to him is his son, and this wolf is his daughter. Oh, by the way, she is as intelligent as you guys." 

"Not as intelligent as you?" Steve quipped, and a flash of cold anger skittered along his nerve endings. He leveled a dark smile at the man. 

"No, she's not. No offense meant darlin'," he said to the wolf. She just huffed, eyes closed as he sank his metal fingers deeper into her coat, giving her an almost massage. "These other two though, yea. They're both geniuses, up at my level. Anywho, the story is this. A guy called Thanos somehow got Loki, Arawn, and Morrigan, and then used his children against him to get the Tesseract." 

"So you're saying that Loki was controlled just like me?" Clint asked with a scoff. "I don't buy it." 

"Essentially yea," he said with a sweet, malicious smile. He had a headache, his lover just tried taking over the world, and he desperately needed a drink and a shower. 

"It's the truth." 

Tony spun around at hearing the raspy, exhausted voice from the bed, only to find Loki staring at them with foggy eyes, both arms now wrapped tight around Arawn. 

Morrigan gave a small sound of distress and climbed onto the bed, settling her bulk behind the god. Loki just smiled slightly. "Morri, I'm fine." 

_"No you're not,"_ she said, and Tony guessed that she broadcasted it since the others, except Thor, twitched. 

Loki's smile turned bitter and sad. "No, I'm not," he agreed, speaking quietly to her. "I will be though, now that he is gone from my mind." 

"So you were being controlled," Natasha said almost musingly, but her eyes were sharp. 

"Yes and no, Agent Romanoff." _Now is the perfect time to question him,_ Tony thought practically, with a bit of ruthlessness thrown in. _He lets his mouth run away from him when he's exhausted._

"At first, when Thanos plucked me from the Void, I refused to help him. He had a contingency plan in effect however. He had taken my children, and used them as leverage to get me to do what he wanted. What I said earlier still holds true." Loki took a deep breath, closing his eyes and burying his face into the back of Arawn's mop of hair. Tony couldn't help but notice how pale, drawn, and exhausted he looked. "I regret none of it. I did what I had to do to protect my family." 

"You stabbed me brother," Thor said angrily, taking a step forward. Morrigan growled and Loki raised his head long enough to glare at Thor, the green clashingly bright against the bloodshot sclera. 

"You're obviously not dead, _brother,_ " he sneered the last word, making it as sarcastic as possible. "If I had truly wanted you dead, any of you, then you would be." Thor looked like he was going to say something again, but Morrigan beat him to it. 

_"Do you deny it, uncle? If father really wanted you all dead, truly wanted to take over this world, do you honestly believe that he could have been stopped?"_

Tony couldn't hide the small smirk as everyone looked highly uneasy at that, even more so when Thor nodded reluctantly. 

"I will agree with that, Morrigan. However-" 

"Stop it," Tony said sharply, glaring. "Now is not the time to be arguing something like-" 

"I agree with you Stark." They all whipped around when Fury's voice came from the door. The man just smiled coldly at them all. "Now, Loki. I have two conditions for you, and if you agree to them, I'll let you stay out of a jail cell." 

"Name them," Loki said tiredly, closing his eyes again. 

"First, you swear that you will never again threaten my planet with war, and two, that you will make reparations for your crimes." 

"What, like become an Avenger?" Tony scoffed. 

"Stark, I do not need you to speak for me," Loki said, but there was amusement and a softness to it that fled when he spoke to Fury next. "I swear that I will not threaten your planet with war, and that I will help rebuild your world from the damage I caused." 

A clear shudder wracked his frame, and surprisingly Fury looked at Thor. "Can I trust his word?" 

Thor was looking at Loki oddly, as though he couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. "You can. When an oath is given, such as he did, it cannot be broken without dire consequences." 

"Good. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Loki, I'm giving you two days to recover before I want the whole story, and you can start helping. Thor, do you have the Tesseract?" 

"No," Loki rasped. "The Tesseract is mine." 

"Loki you cannot-" Thor started hotly, cut off by Loki's huff of laughter. 

"I didn't say it was willing on my end. The Tesseract had bonded to me, and became mine when Thanos's control broke over both me and the artifact. It has taken a liking to me." He held up his hand, and with just a twitch of his fingers the spear that Natasha was still holding ripped away from her and floated over to Loki. As his hand curled around it, the blue gem pulsed, then turned a shining emerald. Loki's smile was coldly satisfied. "You'll find now, that the Tesseract is no longer blue. It had bonded to my magic." 

"That isn't possible," Thor muttered with a frown, though he looked as though he believed it. "Father made that, it shouldn't be possible." 

Loki snorted. "You should never say something is impossible to me, Thor. You of all people know I do not believe in the word." 

That startled a honest laugh out of Tony, earning him utterly shocked glares, but he couldn't help himself. Even Loki looked surprised, but what surprised everyone else was how Loki's eyes went slightly soft, a small, fond smile tugging the corners. 

Tony got hold of himself, though he couldn't help a few sniggers as he waved his hand. "Sorry, don't mind me. Just, yea, carry on." 

Loki's eyes hardened again when they turned to Thor. He paused for a moment, sensing Arawn wake up. He slid as carefully as he could so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his son now between him and Morrigan. Arawn never even opened his eyes. 

"Brother," he hissed, and drew himself painfully upright. He squared his shoulders, and exhaled slowly. "There are things that are private between us and Asgard. I would like to speak with you about them." His eyes flicked over the group, then back. "Alone." 

"Now listen here," Fury started, but a rumble of thunder echoed through the broken windows. 

Thor never looked away from Loki's stare, eyes intense, every inch the commanding prince. "Leave us Director. I will not allow my brother to escape." 

"Don't ruin my bedroom either, more. Don't ruin it more," Tony said sternly, pointing a finger at them both. 

Loki just inclined his head briefly. "I only wish to talk, at the moment." 

Fury's jaw clenched, but one last look at Thor had him turning on his heel. "Fine. You have a half hour." 

"No," Loki said quietly, dangerously, for the moment looking every inch a figure of royalty. His eyes were a flinty emerald. "We have until we're done." 

Fury said nothing, but his jaw clenched as he walked out of the room, the other Avengers at his heels. Only Tony stayed, silently asking Loki if he wanted him to stay. Loki just shook his head slightly, and Tony shrugged, walking out of the room and closing the door. 

He froze as he saw Fury and the rest staring at him with furious, expectant looks. 

"I need a drink for this," he growled, and walked right past them all. He went over to the end of the platform where the machines were for taking his suit off, and Jarvis complied. He had only taken one step back in, now sans suit, when Fury marched up to him. 

"Start talking," he demanded, and Tony glared at him, brushing past and going to the bar. He calmly filled his glass with his best scotch, and took a sip, all while staring down one Nick Fury, who looked as though he was going to have an aneurism. Well fuck off. I don't want to talk about any of this anyway. 

"Tony," Bruce said quietly, demandingly, and Tony huffed, now turning to glare at the rest. 

"We...well, I guess you can't say lovers, 'cause it was only one night, but it's close enough." 

"You and Loki?" Fury asked, and Tony gave him a 'no shit' look. 

"I met them, Loki and Arawn, when frog muncher was 16. He'd just graduated high school-" 

"Wait," Steve said, holding up a hand. "Arawn went to school here? I thought he was a...god, like Loki and Thor." 

"He did. And he is. Anyway, he got my attention. That kid is close to me when it comes to engineering and tech, so of course he got my attention. It wasn't until I met them that I learned he graduated MIT at 16." 

Bruce whistled softly. "A year before you." 

Tony sent him a sharp smile. "6 months, but close enough. Kid's got some brains under that mop of hair. Well, I met them, and I had no clue who they were at the time. Then Loki saved my life. Arawn was still human at that point, actually." He mused, humming as he thought back on it. 

"He saved your life?" Natasha asked sharply, frowning in disbelief. 

Tony snorted. "Did I stutter? I got hit by some .50 cal's, and one got lucky enough to get through the suit. He used his magic voodoo powers to heal me." He shrugged then. "After that, we had sex, and the two of them went home." 

"How long did you know each other?" Bruce asked, and at least he didn't look so antagonistic now. 

"Almost three months." 

"Why didn't you say something?" This was from Clint, and he sounded absolutely livid. 

"It wasn't your business," Tony said coldly, glaring at the archer. 

"How is it not our business? Your boyfriend just tried taking over the world!" 

"Because it's the past, and in case you don't remember, I didn't exactly let sentiment get in my way of beating his ass!" 

"Stop it!" Fury barked, so Tony switched his glare to him. "Don't look at me like that Stark. I want a full report on what happened between the two of you." 

"No." His voice was flat and unyielding, just like his stare. 

"Stark," Fury warned. 

"Hell no. What happened between me and him happened between me and him. It's no one else's business. And if you continue to keep pestering me about it, you will regret it." He let one of his masks slip as he glared, showing the director the ruthless, cold core to him that he kept hidden under all his jokes and philanthropy. It made Fury narrow his eyes in speculation. 

"If you don't-" 

"What? What exactly are you going to do to me Fury?" he said with a light laugh, refilling his glass as he became all sharp smiles and languid, dangerous gestures. He looked back up with an easy, ruthless grin. "Stark Industries holds half the grants of SHIELD's, and my money is at least half of your budget. Most of the weapons you use are owned by me, and oh, don't forget that lovely flying ship of yours." He took a drink, and chuckled softly, his words cutting like glass. "You know, the one that I _designed_ for you?" 

"You wouldn't," Fury ground out. 

Tony only gave him a broad smile that was all teeth, eyes as hard as sapphires. "Leave me and mine alone, and I won't." 

"You're still calling him yours?" Steve demanded, and Tony sneered, his patience worn thin. 

"Well he fucked me through my mattress and saved my life, so yea, he's mine. If you have a problem with that, you can get out." 

Clint snarled and turned on his heel, and was gone down the elevator. Natasha looked at Fury and he nodded to her, and then she was gone. Bruce just shrugged, arms crossed over his naked chest. Steve looked around, and admitted defeat, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. 

"Look, just...don't let him compromise you." 

"Did you miss the part where I kicked his ass?" he mused, bitterly amused as he swirled the alcohol around in his glass. 

"And you did it well, I admit," a tired voice came from the door, and Tony smirked. 

"You want that drink now, Rudolph?" He started pouring it before Loki could even respond. 

"I do not have a shiny red nose, Stark," Loki said, his voice a rasp from exhaustion. 

Tony finally looked up, only to see a new sort of relaxation between the brothers, an easing of hostilities. It didn't help that Thor had his arm around Loki's shoulders, supporting him, and Loki was allowing it. 

Tony smirked, trying to ignore the relief that made his shoulders sag a bit. "Alright Maleficent, here ya go." 

Loki ignored everyone else as their eyes locked, and he pulled away from Thor to walk slowly over to the bar. He sat, and cocked an eyebrow, taking the offered drink. "Really Stark? I am not female either." 

"Hmm, true. Your horns are more impressive then hers anyway." He grinned. "Prongs then. I've always liked that one." 

Loki opened his mouth to argue, then shut it. "I...can't actually come up with an argument for that one." 

"Before you two start mauling each other, I have a mess I need to clean up." Fury glared at them all before turning on his heel. "Bruce, stay here and make sure these two don't burn down what's left of the city." 

"Aye-yi captain," Bruce muttered sarcastically, making Fury snort before exiting the building. 

It left Tony, Loki, Steve, Thor, and Bruce sitting there, the awkward silence growing as Tony and Loki sipped their drinks. Until Tony blinked, remembering something. 

So, he tried it. Carefully, he mentally sent a thought to Loki, feeling ridiculous until Loki's head snapped up. 

_"How the hell..."_ He returned mentally, and Tony grinned brilliantly. 

_"I have no clue, but I figured if Morrigan could hear me, you might too. How the hell is this possible?"_

Loki frowned, and Tony could see the thoughts flying behind those emerald eyes, and then they dawned with comprehension...and chagrin. _"Do you remember when I healed you, and you found out about my godhood?"_

_"Yea...what about it?"_

_"We have the same blood type...and you were bleeding out to fast for me to retrieve blood from elsewhere. I used my own."_

Tony gaped, and Loki winced, the pieces coming together in his brain. "Well then...that explains it I guess." 

"Loki! Change the Tesseract back!" Thor's voice boomed through the room, startling them and making Bruce huff laughter. He hadn't even heard Thor leave to go to the roof to retrieve the thing. But there it was, and Loki hadn't been lying; it was green. 

Loki glared at Thor, wincing as he waved his hand and his scepter appeared, the gem still softly glowing green. "I told you Thor. The Tesseract had bonded to me. I knew I had forgotten something," he muttered as he stood and walked over to Thor, tapping the tip of the spear against the cube. It flashed once and then crumbled into dust. 

"What did you do?!" Thor demanded, grabbing the front of Loki's shirt. 

He waved the weapon pointedly, an eyebrow cocked in derision, calm as could be as Thor shook him a bit. "Transferred the energy. That one was too unwieldy." 

"Father will not be pleased with this," Thor growled. 

Loki almost growled back, but gave Thor one of his sweetest grins. "Then allow me to deliver the news to him personally." The gem flashed green, and Thor was enveloped in a crackling light, before disappearing with a pop. Tony blinked a few times, lips twitching. 

"You just sent him back, didn't you?" he asked, though he didn't really need to. The honest grin Loki gave him made him lose it, and he had to hold his stomach as he laughed. 

"Without the Tesseract, and me, it takes much energy to send someone to a different realm. It will be awhile before Thor returns." He paused, looking thoughtfully at the spot the thunder god just stood. "If he does." 

"Will you be going back to Asgard?" Bruce asked as he walked up, now looking more curious then angry at the trickster. 

"I will, eventually. Now that my family and my mind are free from Thanos, I will begin paying my dues to all three realms I have wronged." 

"Three?" Tony asked, contemplating filling his glass again, but grabbed a bottle of water instead. He did fill Loki's when the god held out his empty glass. Concern filled Tony when he saw that graceful hand shake, but he said nothing. 

"Mm. Asgard, Midgard, and Jotunheim." He smirked slightly at the last, and Tony's concern only grew. It was the tired amusement that only comes after hysteria and panic has run its course. "Arawn will not be pleased with me because of the last." 

"Say what?" A groggy, raspy voice said from the hallway, and a disheveled Arawn walked out, scrubbing a hand over his face. Tony couldn't help but snicker at the bush of red around the kids head, even though Loki stiffened in his seat. 

"I...may have tried to destroy Jotunheim," Loki said quietly, as he turned in his seat to face his son. 

Arawn blinked, blinked again, and then his face became positively thunderous. "You did _what_?" 

"It was the perfect way to end the war that Thor had started," Loki said calmly, voice low and convincing. Tony could tell he actually believed the words. 

"And to get some revenge in the process," Arawn said darkly, and Loki tensed a bit more as he nodded shortly. "Dad..." 

"I didn't kill Laufey when I had the chance," he snapped. "Arawn, all of my plans were not because I found out I was adopted, or a frost giant. It was because I was lied to. It was because of fear, of my own selfish desire to prove to my family that I was worthy, that I was Thor's equal." He laughed bitterly, quietly, downing the rest of his drink in one gulp. "I believed destroying Jotunheim and the threat that is the frost giants would endear me to Odin. I was very, very wrong." 

"Did you ever think that dear ol' dad would have destroyed them with this Bifrost thing if he truly wanted to get rid of them?" Tony asked casually, taking a drink of water as Loki shot a glare at him. "Just saying." 

"I had thought of that, actually," he said evenly, and dangerously. "You forget, Anthony Stark, that I was raised by the man, and have spent the past 2,000 years as you mortals count, by his side. I truly believe that Odin is too soft with thoughts of peace." His smile was sharp and taunting. "I was proven right incidentally." 

"So he's already brokering peace, hmm?" Arawn said thoughtfully, walking forward as he spoke, him and Morrigan settling into the depression made by Loki's own body. Steve and Bruce shivered at the way they both inhaled as Arawn curled up at her side. They were settled right in the middle of the large bloodstain that the god had left, and it was a bit unnerving to see them curled up together on it. Father and son smiled at each other gently, understandingly, and haunted. 

"It smells like you," Arawn whispered, sounding much younger than his twenty odd years. 

"Children..." Loki whispered back, broken. He walked over to them swiftly, kneeling and pulling Arawn tightly to his chest. 

Arawn was a very warm, real presence against his heart, and he reached out a hand, burying it deep into Morrigan's neck. He pulled her to them and she willingly curled around them, making a low growl in her throat. He held them both tightly for a moment, reveling in the fact that they had survived with each other, and more or less intact. He had never been so grateful to feel the warm thud of their pulses against his, their sorcery brushing against his. It was coming home to him, and he actually ducked his head and let his hair cover his face when he felt tears. Arawn was already crying silently against his chest, the only sign the hitching of his shoulders. 

For the first time in what felt like eternity, they weren't tears from agony or despair. They were there as signs that they were alive. They could fight back. They had a chance now.


	2. Machinations

The next week went over surprisingly well. Loki and Arawn both did their parts, dressed in normal clothing as they helped the humans repair. Thor didn't come back, but neither of them expected him to. Loki knew Heimdall was watching them, since none of them had tried to hide themselves from the all seeing gaze.  


It was three days in, and they had finally gotten some time to themselves, down on the streets of New York. They were sitting on a curb, eating pizza in front of the building they were helping rebuild. Morrigan was the one who brought it up, laying at their feet in a 'normal' version of herself. _"The heroes do not know of your necromancy abilities a bhráthair."_  


Loki's lips twitched as she called him brother. She had taken a liking to the word as his children delved into their memories to learn the ancient language. He calmly took another bite of pizza. _"Stark suspects, but if any of the others do, they've given no sign of it."_  


_"And they do make sure to watch us constantly,"_ Arawn said, and it was only slightly bitter. More sarcastic then anything.  


Morrigan huffed out a breath of laughter. _"Apparently the two of you are easy on the eyes."_  


Father and son just blinked, and she let out a strangled whine, laughter bursting through their minds. She fell onto her side and panted as they glared at her. _"What the hell Morri?"_  


_"Your...your faces were priceless!"_ She burst out, and if she had been two legged she'd have been wiping her eyes. _"I needed that."_  


Loki sighed and just shook his head, relaxing back onto his hands as he stared at the demolished building. _"What have you heard daughter of mine?"_  


She snorted, stretching out on her stomach, enjoying the cool pavement under the awning above them. She had thinned out her fur even more, but the afternoon sun was hot in May. _"It is so easy to become a shadow around them. They don't see me as a threat at all."_ She laughed darkly, and Loki couldn't help but let his lips twist into a smirk. _"Bruce is the one that surprised me, actually."_  


Arawn gaped as Loki's eyebrow went up. _"You're telling me that Bruce Banner believes us to be attractive?"_  


If she could, she would have been smirking at him. Her eyes told him everything though. _"Oh not you father."_  


If possible, Arawn became paler then before. Loki's eyes flashed as his jaw clenched. _"You have proof?"_  


"Woah! Wait! When...the fuck?" Arawn nearly shouted the words, earning them a look or two from a few people walking the streets. He went a furious red, and his jaw snapped shut. _"What the hell Morri? Are you serious? Bruce?"_  


_"I have been watching the way they all watch the two of you, and the doctor surprised me."_ Her voice went serious and soft, as she turned her head to watch two people joking down the street. _"He watches you the same way Tony watches father."_  


Loki leaned forward, his curiosity spiked. _"How is that?"_  


_"You really need me to tell you?"_ She turned back and looked at him, then rolled her eyes and got up to get a drink of water. _"Idiots, both of you. It is not the way of lust, though, there is that. They are hungry for knowledge, for something different, for minds that will be able to keep up with theirs."_ She licked her lips clean, and looked up at them with icy blue eyes so pale they were almost white. They were also dead serious. _"I will need to build myself some armor to deal with the four of you."_  


_"You believe that I will allow this man to pursue my son?"_ he hissed, nearly growling through their heads.  


She just gave him a slightly exasperated look, mixed with infinite patience. _"You will, because Arawn is already interested, and he's your son."_  


Loki's head immediately whipped around, and Arawn's blush came back full force, spreading down his neck as he swiftly looked away. The concrete gave way a bit under his fingers as he bared his teeth a bit.  


"Arawn." Then he saw his son's jaw firm, and he did growl. "You cannot be serious."  


"So what if I am?" Arawn turned and glared at him, his golden eyes flashing with stubbornness and challenge. "It's not like he can kill me!"  


"That is not the reason," he retorted, fighting with himself to calm down. He knew rationally that Arawn was over the age of consent, and more then capable of making his own decisions. Yet it didn't stop the hot rip of anger as he thought of said man possibly touching his son intimately.  


"Then what is the reason?" Arawn demanded hotly, pushing as he always did.  


"It is none of your business," he said coldly, then flinched when Arawn's jaw went slack with shock. He looked away and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. "I apologize...give me a moment. Please."  


He kept his eyes closed as he breathed slow, in and out a few times, then lowered his hand and raised his eyes. "I...have no reasons to keep you away from him, should you choose to pursue this. Nothing logical, anyway."  


Arawn frowned, then understanding lit his eyes. A wry smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head. His eyes were filled with amusement and happiness. "You could have just said it's a parent kid thing."  


Loki tilted his head slightly, thinking about it for but a moment before nodding. "I agree. I do not like the idea of someone who is so much older, and...different."  


Arawn snorted, cocking an eyebrow. "Oh yes, because we're so normal."  


Loki had to smile at that. "That is true." Then he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I will refrain from speaking to Bruce about this unless it becomes serious. I am leaving that decision up to the two of you." He gave his son a hard look when Arawn grinned. "Be careful if you do decided to pursue him."  


"Yea yea," Arawn said, standing a wiping his hands on his jeans. "Let's finish this. I need real food."  


Loki just snorted and stood.  


It also became a common sight for Bruce and Tony to be working in the lab, and the two gods - sweaty, dirty, and ravenous - laughing and joking with them as they ate in the lab. Tony had been miffed about that at first, but then he saw Arawn and Loki crack a true smile, and couldn't really complain after that. It was one such night, after everyone had returned to their respective home - Tony refused to let Steve stay there for the moment. There was way too much bad blood between father, son, and the good Captain. Hell, Tony had enough issues with the man always comparing him to his father that he wasn't going to be around. Arawn had dragged Bruce down into another lab, curious about some documentary about bats the scientist had been talking about, so Loki and Tony were in his private lab alone.  


Loki had been keeping a sharp eye on Tony the entire night, and the inventor wasn't really sure why. So he just returned the scrutiny as he polished off the last box of fried rice.  


"Stark, I think we need to run some tests on you."  


Tony nearly spit out his food when Loki said that, coughing to clear the rice from his throat. "What?" he croaked. "Why?"  


Loki hummed in amusement, crossing one jean clad leg over the other, putting his elbow on the table and leaning his head into his palm. "Do me a favor. You know the strength test you put me and Arawn through? I think you should do it yourself."  


Tony blinked, then frowned as the pieces began clicking together in his brain. His eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me."  


Loki inclined his head once. "I believe so."  


He hopped off his stool, food forgotten for the moment as he nearly ran over to the other side of the lab. All the equipment was still set up, and Tony hooked himself up with no problem at all. He was silent the entire time, his brain working overtime as he went through test after test. He remembered bits and pieces of the past few years, since Loki had healed him, the figures adding up too neatly in his mind. Times when he should have died, and didn't. When he should have been at the end of his rope, and yet still found the energy to get back up. His increase in appetite, the grey only at his temples, when by all rights it should be more, since he was pushing 40.  


He didn't really exit his thoughts until the last punch to the mechanical hand, and Jarvis said, "The readings are complete, sir."  


"Let me hear them," he rasped, out of breath but not too bad.  


"In comparison to the Aesir, you rank below all of them in endurance, speed, and strength. However, you rank above Mr. Rogers in all those areas. I must admit sir, that your eyesight, hearing, and reaction times improved significantly after Loki healed you."  


"So it is as I thought," Loki mused, cleaning off the food with the help of Dummy.  


"So am I immortal like you?" Tony asked, unreasonably angry but also childishly excited. And very, very panicked.  


"Not quite. You would not be fully like us unless you ate one of our apples. However," he paused, and looked up at Tony. His eyes were carefully shuttered. "You're no longer purely human."  


All of the anger left Tony in a rush, as he sat heavily down onto a stool, putting his head in his hands. "Alright alright, don't give me those damn puppy eyes. Fuck...shit, damnit, fuck!"  


"I sincerely apologize, Stark. I did not know what the consequences would be."  


"Would you have done it if you had known?"  


"Yes. If it meant saving your life all over again, even knowing that you would hate me for it, I would do it all over again."  


Tony looked up, frowning. He met those green eyes, and saw the resignation, but also the steel core that had so intrigued him to the man in the first place. "You really don't regret any of it, do you?"  


Loki shrugged, looking away. "There are certain things, I will admit, but on the whole? No. I did what I had to do."  


"Am I included in that?" Tony was already regretting blurting the words out when Loki looked at him with a confused frown. "Eh, nevermind. Don't worry about it."  


"No, Stark, what did you mean?" Loki asked as he stood, walking over to him.  


"Honestly, it's nothing, forget I said anything." Tony didn't think he was doing a good job of hiding his racing heart as Loki leaned over him, trapping him between the table and a very naked chest.  


"Stark..." Loki drawled, trying to ignore the curl of arousal low in his gut as Anthony licked his lips, eyes skating over his chest until they finally came back up. He paused at the microchip that Loki never took off, and Loki froze when one hand came up to gently touch the swinging metal.  


"Have you ever taken this off?" His voice was husky, imploring...hungry.  


Loki swallowed, hard. "Not since I put it on."  


"So...am I still yours?" Tony looked up, and Loki had to tighten his hands on the edge of the work table so he didn't grab the man and ravish him right there.  


"You're still alive, aren't you?" he returned flippantly, trying to brush it off. He went to back away, but a strong, calloused hand wrapped around the microchip, keeping him firmly in place. Loki strained a bit, but they both knew that he wouldn't chance breaking the chain. It made a flare of resentment burn in his gut, and he raised a hand to wrap it around Anthony's. "Let go."  


"No." It was flung at him, challenging, but Loki looked into those blue eyes. He had never been one to be deceived by words and gestures. He looked at the eyes, and actions. 

"You made your choice Loki dear. You decided to let yourself be caught, to admit to your lies, and ask for help."  


"I did not-" he growled, words cut off when Anthony tugged on the chain.  


"You did. Maybe not out loud, but by giving up, by telling us everything that happened? Yea sweetcheeks, that's asking for help where I come from."  


"No, that is not asking for help," he hissed, nearly growling. "That is merely good strategy."  


"Bullshit," Stark returned, his hand tightening even more on the chain. His eyes were propane blue with emotion. "Fine, if that's what you want to go with honey. How about this then." He pulled the god even closer, till their lips were only a breath apart. Then he said, with surgical precision, "You had to come here."  


Loki felt his body freeze at the statement, but he didn't even get a chance to say anything before Stark was speaking again.  


"You have nowhere else to go. Asgard will try you as a criminal, Thanos will torture you to death, and so would Jotunheim. I'm sure there's places you could hide, but here...here you can be you. Here, you don't have to hide. Here, you can plot, and scheme, and figure out what the fuck to do with your life, because everywhere else would see you dead."  


Loki tried not to wince at the truth of the statements, and almost succeeded. Almost being the right word. Stark's hand loosened a bit, his eyes softening.  


Suddenly, Loki was filled with panic. He jerked away, Stark's hand loosening enough for the chip to slip free. I don't understand...why?  


"Why are you willing to help me?" he said harshly, scrubbing his hands over his face and speaking through them. Eyes closed, so he didn't have to look at the man. "Why...how can you forgive the things that I did?"  


"It's because-"  


"Don't say one word about family," he growled, the anger giving him enough strength to lock eyes with the inventor. "I don't think you understand, Stark. Yes, I was coerced into attacking this planet, but the plans were all mine. I made them, knowing that they were going to kill people, and I still followed them through. I almost destroyed two worlds! Yet you sit here and give me forgiveness when..." He trailed off, becoming aware that he was almost yelling, unable to finish his words. He was frustrated, angry, a bit scared but mostly confused. Only Stark...  


"When no one else will?" Stark said quietly, and Loki's flinch was enough of an answer. "What's the number, Loki?"  


Loki took a deep breath, trying to smooth down the edges of his frayed nerves. It was a knee jerk reaction to lie, to say that he didn't know what he meant, but something stopped it. He didn't know if it was the fact that it was only the two of them, or that Stark had already seen his weakness, but...  


"11,389." His voice was a rasp, the words sounding as though they had been dragged from him. He waited for the condemnation, the horror, the disbelief that he could kill that many people...but it never came.  


"Mine's in the millions, so I think you got off easy," Stark said with a bittersweet smile, and Loki looked sharply at him. Then he remembered that Stark had been 'Merchant of Death' at one point, and couldn't help but smile tiredly.  


"Aren't we a pair?" he asked, meeting the blue eyes that were smiling at him.  


_"ARAWN!"_   


He jerked as Morrigan's voice ripped through his head, and a moment later an explosion came from the floor below them. Stark didn't even get a chance to say anything before he grabbed the man's arm and teleported downstairs, arriving the moment Banner finished changing into the Hulk. He took the scene in with one sweep of his eyes.  


Morrigan was hovering over Arawn, who was against the wall, eyes wide and pupils dilated, mouth open as he panted with fear. Hulk lumbered over to him and crouched down in front of the man, giving the two of them a glare over his shoulder.  


"Hey, buddy, what happened..." Stark began, walking out from behind him as Loki tried contacting his son with his mind.  


He instantly recoiled as images and feelings slammed into him - dank cell, pain, blood, smell of rotting meat - shutting it out as his own memories tried to trigger.  


"Arawn...my son, listen to me," he said quietly as he began to walk over, giving the green man a glare when he grunted in warning. He kept his movements slow until he was kneeling next to his son, ignoring the way the broken glass cut into his knees. "Arawn, listen to my voice. You're safe, son. We're safe. Me, Morrigan, and you." He reached out when Arawn finally glanced at him, wrapping his son in a tight embrace. Arawn shook against him as he hummed a lullaby that he used to sing, rocking them both to and fro as he waited for the shaking to calm down.  


When it finally did, Arawn looked up at him with a tear streaked face, and tried to smile. "Hi dad."  


His smile was just a crooked. "Hello my son. What caused it?"  


Arawn flinched and buried his head in Loki's chest. "The...sound. We were watching a documentary."  


Loki frowned, looking around. Against the far wall was a projector screen, and it did have an obvious burn hole right through it. Stark was talking to a once again Bruce, and as soon as Loki's attention hit him, he looked over, and flinched. Stark said something sharply, hitting him on the arm, and Bruce gave the inventor a fierce frown. He did end up shuffling over to them though, crouching down so he could look at Arawn in the face.  


"I am so sorry Arawn," Bruce said softly, reaching out and running a finger over a stray curl. "I didn't think."  


Arawn sniffed, and gave the scientist a game smile that was still wobbly around the edges. "It's ok. I didn't either, and I lived through it. I should have known."  


Stark chuckled dryly at that. "You never know what will cause a flashback, kid. It's usually stupid things."  


Arawn scrubbed a hand over his face. "Yea. I'm gonna...go out for a bit. Yea. Morri?"  


"Arawn," Loki started, but bit his tongue against the rest of it when Stark brushed his shoulder. So he didn't try to stop either child as they walked a bit shakily out the door. He couldn't resist completely though. _"Be careful."_  


Arawn said nothing, but just nodded and vanished as he exited the doorway.  


Loki let out a deep sigh, then shook his head. They were capable of taking care of themselves, he knew that. He tuned to Stark with a small smile, then looked at Banner. "I was told you have a doctorate in biochemistry?"  


Banner looked surprised, then sheepish, but nodded. "I do."  


"There are a few things I'd like to pick your brain for, if you don't mind." Loki had to calm the sudden racing of his heartbeat. He had to remind himself that yes, he was Jotun, but he was not like the others of his race. Frigga had raised him better than that. Arawn had taught him better than that.  


"Really? Uh, sure. What do you want to know?" Banner looked less then pleased, but willing.  


Loki took a deep breath, rolled up his sleeve, and held out his arm. "I am...not Aesir. I am Jotun, the race of frost giants. I am curious if there is a difference on the chemical, and DNA level. I was told you have a sample of Thor's blood, correct?" He tried saying it normally, but it still came out a bit rushed. He watched Stark and Banner exchange a look, but Banner shrugged.  


"I can run some tests, but it will take at least an hour, if not more," he said as he pulled on gloves and got out a needle.  


"That's fine," Stark said before Loki could open his mouth. "I want to pick his brain about magic anyway."  


"Sorcery," Loki said absently, eyeing Stark. He felt the faint prick from the needle, and hummed to himself when the blood came out red. For some reason he was expecting it to be blue, purple, hell even orange, but not red. Not so...normal. Banner went to put a bandage on it, but Loki waved him away. He had healed fast enough that no extra drop of blood came out with the needle. The doctor walked away with the three vials, absently saying he'd have some results in a few hours. Loki looked to Stark, and tilted his head.  


"Shall we go back to the lab?" He touched his phone through his pants, as a reminder that his children had several ways to contact him should something happen.  


Stark just grinned, eyes flashing with the hunger for knowledge. "Let's go babycakes."


	3. Kill or be Killed

Arawn growled in frustration as he crouched on a rooftop, Morrigan switching her gaze from him, to the streets below.  


He was trying to cast the spell for changing shape. He had already tried simple fire and shadow spells. Nothing was working, and by this point, it was enough for him to start tearing his hair out. The foreign magic that had been awoken in him was stepping on it, smothering everything else with its strength. Arawn couldn't even use it to satisfying degree, since it defied the ways of being molded that he had always used.  


All he had right now was the spell to copy his daggers, and it was the very first spell his dad had taught him. It had become instinct at this point, since he only used the real daggers when fighting up close. It was only that, and teleportation.  


A chill went down his spine as icy fingers glided over his scalp. It took all of his will not to flinch at the presence that was suddenly by his side.  


"I asked you not to do that," he said numbly, continuing to stare off over the horizon of the city.  


_"You are at conflict with yourself. That cannot happen."_   


"And you care why?" he asked with a quick, side long glance. Yea, that was Death all right. In all its creepy ass glory.  


_"I have need of you."_   


Suddenly, Arawn was filled with a blinding rage, his body tensing with the intent. Something stilled his body, though not his mind, not his mouth.  


"Need of me. Really? That's what you use?" Slowly he turned his head, meeting the endless expanse of Death's eyes. His eyes burned, expression cracked open and heavy, weighed down with the things on his mind. "You need me to kill your lover. You need me to do your dirty work for you. And me? I get nothing, except this power that I can't even control, that overpowers the last 15 years of work I've done! What the fuck am I supposed to do with something like that? I don't have the time, according to you, to learn how to work it. So tell me, oh great and powerful, what the fuck am I supposed to do?!"  


_"Until you learn to control your true power, you will have limited access to the ones granted to you by Yggdrasil."_   


"Wait, so even the ones from my Jotun side?" He gaped in shock. "Really? I just got those!" Then he blinked, curiosity at that tidbit taking over his mind for a moment. "So we all get our power from the Tree? Even the other races?"  


Death nodded, and he took a deep breath, rubbing his hands across his face. He would deal with that interesting tidbit later, granting that he lived. He pressed the heels into his eyes and spoke. "What do I have to do?"  


_"You already have the knowledge. Do not make me wait."_   


It disappeared, and Arawn cursed, surging to his feet as anger whipped through him. "Get your ass back here!"  


"So." His head jerked up at the single, distinctly said word. "Conversation with Death? That's cool."  


His blood ran to ice. A hand shot out instinctually, throwing a dagger towards the man perched on the wall, aiming for his heart. The shadowy figure moved, but not quick enough to get completely out of harm's way. He hissed softly at the graze to the ribs, and Arawn smirked. At least his throwing skills were as sharp as ever.  


"What exactly did you hear?" He kept his voice casual, dropping his hand to his side, but keeping it at the ready.  


"Well, before I tell you, I vow that I'll never tell anyone what I overheard."  


Arawn blinked, then began to smile slowly at the precise wording of what he had just been promised. Aesir could not break a vow once given, in those exact words, but there was a reason why 'I vow' got replaced by 'I swear'. Though not normally held by the standards of Aesir, if one of the other races made a vow to one, they were held by the same rules.  


"Heh," he snorted. "I believe you."  


"Ah, alright then." The figure dropped, and Arawn could see him better. When he did, he couldn't stop his jaw dropping in shock.  


"Spiderman? What the hell?" He had heard Tony bitching about this particular superhero, but this would be the first time he had come face to face with the man.  


"My reputation precedes me! That makes me so happy," the costume clad figure nearly giggled at that, making Arawn smirk in tired amusement.  


"If you want to call Tony bitching about how much work you make him do, then yea, your reputation precedes you." He had to laugh outright at the crestfallen look, that he could see even through the mask.  


"I'm guessing you're talking about Tony Stark?" At Arawn's nod, he groaned. "Of course I have to run into someone close to an Avenger! Oh oh, tell me about him?"  


As he was laughing, Morrigan decided to make her presence known. She had been curled up in the shadows of the taller building, her inherent magic as a predator allowing her to project an aura of 'you don't see me'. When she moved, Spiderman whirled around with a yelp, and then threw himself behind Arawn.  


"Holy bejeebus! That is one big boy."  


 _"I am female, and I am Arawn's sister, Morrigan."_ She fixed a ruby eye on the man, eyeing him up and down as though he were a steak. _"And do not worry. You are far too skinny for my tastes."_  


"And you can talk! That is so cool. So, Arawn right? You going to tell me what the Death thing was all about?"  


Arawn could feel his face close down. "No."  


"Oh. Alright then." Then he sat down on the edge of the building, overlooking Times Square. Arawn joined him hesitantly, looking over the people that were bustling around, some construction crews even working now. How easy it was for people to put the past behind them and just...  


He took a half step back, as thoughts began swirling. "I need to go."  


He jumped on Morrigan's back and they were gone before Spiderman could even get a syllable out. She raced over the rooftops on the way back to the Tower, though when they got there she used her magic to stick to the glass and scaled the wall. He jumped off, and immediately went all the way to the top, where the antenna was, and settled down cross-legged.  


 _"Do you really think this will work?"_ Morrigan asked, laying down on his right side, her eyes flicking over the buildings.  


"Well, Death said I already have the knowledge inside me, so..." He trailed off with a shrug, and took a deep, calming breath.  


Then he delved into his own mind, appearing as he always did, at the mouth of a large canyon. The walls were riddled with holes, some sparking green, yellow, blue, red, gold, each color representing who or what the memory was about. He had to go deep into the canyon, the rock and sand cracking under his feet as he walked, until he found a cave that sparked with light of black, white, and red.  


He stood in front of it, uneasy that it was a cave instead of a series of holes like the other ones were. One easily got lost in caves, he knew that from experience. Taking a deep breath, and steeling his fluttering nerves, he walked through the wall of light, and into the darkness.  


There were times that he stood outside the memory, and others that he was actually inside them. This first one put him directly into his past life.  


_He was staring at a woman who he knew to be his mother, and she was dead. Her body was sprawled in front of him on the floor, the sword wound that had done her in wet and ugly in her chest. His father wasn't much farther, at the doorway, where he had tried to protect them from the enemies. For some reason, they had decided not to kill him, maybe it was because he was a child, he didn't know. But now he was numb, truly a child, not knowing what to do. He could feel the numbness, almost apathy at his parents death.  
_

When a skeletal hand invaded his vision, he didn't even flinch when he put his small hand in it.  


Everything shifted then, and flashes passed before his eyes, glimpses of memories that apparently weren't important. Finding a wolf pup, small and sickly, her mother's corpse cooling from where the pack had driven them both out. Non-predator animals running from him, unable to find a horse to get...wherever he was going, being forced to walk for a long time. Cold night wrapped up in fur that stunk, due to not being properly tanned. Falling asleep with the pup curled to his chest, knowing that he was going to die from cold, only to wake up barely able to move, but still alive.  


Finally finding the woods that Death had told him to go to, collapsing right past the tree line, and waking up to an unfamiliar face.  


Then, gloriously, everything he had been looking for. A woman teaching him - Morrigan, that bitch - and all the pain that came with it. Flashes of lessons, of the feel of the magic, of the true way to tap it that he was lacking.  


Then came the harshest lesson of all, that had him dragging himself from the memory, kicking and screaming.  


A child, sickly, not able to walk or even speak. Her face was deformed, but there was a bright light in her eyes that he could only qualify as life. She had been left for dead in a small hut that Morrigan had led him to, and he could feel that she was only a few days away from death.  


The girl laughed in joy when they had walked in, even going so far as to try and drag herself to them on her deformed legs.  


Morrigan just laughed. "Look at the defenseless weakling. No wonder her parents left her to die. Take her soul."  


He whipped around in shock. "What?"  


She just gave him a droll look. "You are the god of death Arawn. Our power is fueled by that fact. Think of souls as the logs for our fire."  


He could not stop staring at her as horror and nausea clawed at his belly. Fuel? Souls were fuel? "Then how have I been using the power all this time?"  


"You have your own soul, boy. Have you been wondering why you're sleeping more lately, or why you're constantly hungry? You're using your own log, instead of adding some to the fire."  


"You're lying," he whispered, but he knew that she wasn't. The look that she gave him told him she knew it too. "I...I can't do that."  


She put a hand on his shoulder, though her sparkling blue eyes were grave and hard. "You must, or you'll burn yourself up." Then she walked away, leaving him along with the child that had managed to make it to his legs.  


He looked down, and crouched, swallowing painfully. With shaking hands he took her head. 'I want to live', he kept telling himself. 'I have to do this. She will die anyway.'  


Swallowing bile, he brought his magic to the surface, and delicately let it sink into her body. Almost immediately he felt better, stronger, as it found her brightly burning soul and began to feed upon it. He wrenched himself away, crying out as fell onto his ass, but the power continued to feed. He watched with wide, tear stained eyes as the soft blue eyes became unfocused, and the pulse in her neck died.  


Then he immediately scrambled to his feet and ran out the door, ignoring Morrigan as she laughed at him, and the wolf that ran at his side.  


He felt himself falling with a loud sob, then rushing air against his skin. Morrigan was shouting in his head, but he couldn't focus on the words, or the fact that he was falling to his death. All he could see was those eyes fading, the bright spark in the dying, the breaths becoming shallower until they stopped. _That's what I have to do? I have to take souls? That's my price?!_  


Steel bands masquerading as arms wrapped around him, and he felt the tell-tale sensation of teleportation, and then he collapsed on whoever was holding him. A brief inhale, the feel of leather under his arms, and he knew that it was his dad. He curled his fingers into the lapels of the coat, as he had done so many times, and buried his face into the strong chest.  


_I can't, I can't I can't...not to get power. Not to feed it, not...no._   


He didn't realize he had been all but sobbing the words until he had calmed down a bit, the tears giving way to a blessed numbness that allowed him to think again. He blinked a few times, his eyes feeling raw and swollen, and finally got a good look at where he was. He was sitting on his dads lap, something that should have been weird considering his age, but he couldn't bring himself to freak out about it. Especially when it felt like those arms around him were the only things keeping him from shaking apart. Morrigan was a warm weight against his back, silently giving her support.  


"...sorry dad," he croaked, and the arms tightened a bit more. It wasn't until the sound stopped, that he realized his dad had been singly softly, the lullaby that had drifted him to sleep on more nights then he could count. Inch by inch the numbness allowed his body to relax, until all his weight was completely supported by him.  


"Please don't scare me like that again son," Loki whispered. He couldn't even say it any louder, his heartbeat accelerating again just thinking about the freefall his son had been in. When Morrigan had yelled into his head, he had already seen the form through the windows, hands clenched to his face, hair streaming around him. He would still swear that his heart had stopped.  


"Hey, Lucy?" Anthony said softly, and both of them looked at the man. He was holding two cups, and just from the smell they knew it was his own special brand of hot chocolate. Loki obligingly loosened his arms when Arawn shifted, moving until he was pressed along his side. Loki kept one arm tightly around his shoulders while they both took the cups, sipping on the hot, rum infused drink. Anthony went and got his own, then settled on the other side of Arawn, the young man sandwiched between them. Morrigan laid down at their feet, and a wistful sigh went through their minds.  


_"I wish I could have chocolate."_   


Arawn blinked, and burst out laughing at that. It had a hysterical side to it, but there was enough honest mirth that Loki wasn't worried too much. Anthony just smirked.  


"I can't decided if that's the female part of you talking, or the canine part."  


She tilted her massive head in thought, and huffed. _"Both. Pepper talks constantly about how she wants chocolate, especially after speaking to you, Tony."_  


Arawn snickered, and turned to Tony with eyes that were a bit brighter than before. "Well, chocolate does relieve stress, and you give her a lot of that."  


Tony acted affronted, but there was a smirk tugging his lips. "Me? No, I never stress anyone out."  


The kid just shook his head, and the room fell into a comfortable silence for awhile as they sipped their drinks, letting the fear dissipate, before Loki had to ask the inevitable question.  


"What happened?" He kept his voice soft but spoken, since Tony had seen everything. They had been in the kitchen making food when Arawn's body went plummeting out of the sky.  


Arawn stiffened, but didn't attempt to pull away. He began chewing his lip, and glanced at Tony before he could stop himself. He then winced slightly when Tony's eyes went wide, realizing it was something they wanted to keep from him.  


"Tony-" Arawn said quietly, but the inventor just smiled easily. It was obvious that he understood, though a bit hurt.  


"I get it kid. Just...damn, don't do that again, ok? You'll be alright?" He asked it quietly, his voice calm but a bit weary.  


Arawn only nodded once in agreement and an unspoken thank you, and Tony disappeared into the elevator after catching Loki's eyes briefly.  


Loki frowned at the look, and sighed mentally. He would tell Stark what he could after he talked to Arawn, but he would only reveal what his son wanted him to.  


 _"So,"_ Arawn began quietly, keeping to mental communication so Jarvis wouldn't hear. _"I can't use any magic at the moment."_  


Loki frowned. _"I saw you teleport, and use your daggers."_  


_"Well, ok. Most of my magic. Apparently those are low level enough, or I've used them enough, that I can still use them. But everything else? The power from my past self, or true self if you go by what Death says, is too strong. It...smothers everything else."_   


Loki hummed softly, thoughts whirling through his head, memories he had long since buried rising to the surface. Memories a thousand years gone that still made him flinch on the inside.  


_"But...that's not all of it."_   


_"Your previous powers need souls to fuel it,"_ Loki said quietly, knowing that he was damming himself, and hoping that neither of his children would hate him once they got those memories back.  


 _"How...how the hell do you know that?"_ Arawn asked sharply, pulling away to glare at him.  


Loki growled softly at himself and stood, plunging a hand into his hair and then scrubbing at his face as he went to stand by the window. _"You will not like my answers, my son."_  


_"There's a lot of things I don't like. Doesn't mean that I need to be kept in the dark about them."_   


Loki took a deep breath, steeling himself as he flashed through memories that had been far too close to the surface after realizing who his son exactly was.  


 _"It started roughly a millennia ago. The Celtic pantheon was strong then, their believers staunch and unyielding, much like Ireland itself. Then came the church, and the wars. The mortals had no idea of the wars being waged on different planes, their gods fighting those that came with the invaders."_ He stopped for a moment, and snorted, staring blankly at the New York skyline. _"For a Catholic people, the higher ups had no clue that their people still revered the old ways, and the old gods. Roman and Greek pantheons were still strong then as well, and they were the ones that fought against your people. Then, the Asgardians were called in. We are not pantheons, in the traditional way. We were born from Yggdrasil herself, as were the other realms, to be to protectors of her most fragile child: Earth. When we were called in, it was because the wars had gotten out of hand, and they needed a peace keeper. Odin went, heeding the call, and he judged who's side we were to be on."_  


 _"It was not ours, was it?"_ Arawn asked softly, beginning to get an awful feeling in his gut. It only intensified when his dad sent him a bitter, wry smile over his shoulder.  


_"No, but it was not only the Celt's that he decided we needed to eliminate. It was all the old pantheons. Any that had decided to fight in this war of man were to be destroyed, less they cause more harm through the years. So, Asgard went to war. In your previous life, you were the last one to be killed."_   


_"Dad..."_ Arawn was shaking, because he knew, he _knew_ what the next sentence was going to be, and he dreaded it.  


 _"I know,"_ Loki said softly, even his mental voice raspy and cold. _"Because I was the one to kill you."_ He turned, facing them both with regretful eyes.  


_"I killed you both."_

__


End file.
